Make New Friends Shop for Toys Buy DVDs Watch Movies Now free daily adult movie Recommended free daily adult movie Site: Yield to Temptation: one stop adult shopping one stop adult shopping 100% Fabulous [Gratuitous Nude] Jada Fire (hollyrandall.com) BeautifulPeople.com's Purge of the Unworthy Dating site Beautiful People bans members who ate too much during Thanksgiving and Christmas. Jenna Jameson & Micky Lynn (Suze Classics) [Fleshbot Babes]   * * * * * Previously: Fleshbot Babes Archive What's Casual About Casual Sex? My friend and colleague Heather Corinna (founder of Scarleteen and sex educator extraordinaire) is doing a large survey on multi-generational experiences with and attitudes about casual sex. Heather is simply one of the smartest sex people I know, and every conversation I have with her could go on for days. But since we're both busy I just went and participated in the survey, and it inspired to to think more than I ever had before about what exactly we're talking about when we talk about casual sex. Chance encounters, one-night stands, hook ups, anonymous sex, meaningless sex, friends with benefits, booty call, the zipless fuck. All of these are terms people have used to describe what researchers and an increasing number of media pop psychologists call casual sex. The terminology has changed over time, but one might argue that our fascination with casual sex has never wavered. But with so many terms, what exactly do we mean when we talk about casual sex? How Researcher's Define Casual Sex Like so many other sex definitions, there isn't a single agreed upon definition for casual sex. Which makes interpreting the wide range of research on the impact of casual sex somewhat daunting. Researchers have defined casual sex in different ways, depending in part on the purpose of their research and in part on their approach (e.g. psychology versus sociology versus nursing, etc...). Despite variations one consistent element to most definitions of casual sex is that it is sex with someone you don't consider to be a spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend or partner, and that it is sex without any significant relationship commitments attached. Some researchers attach a time period to casual sex; labeling casual sex, for example, as sex with someone you have known for two weeks or less. Again, there is no general agreement on what the term means, but here are some of the other ways that researchers have bracketed casual sex as separate and unique from other sexual encounters: casual sex implies a particular kind of relationship devoid of emotional connection casual sex implies a type of attraction, for example primarily physical rather than based on personality or shared values casual sex refers to the intention of one or both partners, usually the intention that this not turn into a relationship casual sex means only having sex once or twice, or only having certain kinds of sex casual sex happens when you've spent more time together having sex than not having sex Each of these points could be thought of as describing a continuum on which we all plant ourselves, determining where our line is between casual and non-casual sex. "Most People's" Definition of Casual Sex One way to define casual sex is just to start asking people. This can be a good way to collect information and get a sense of how others think about casual sex. In talking to them you may develop your own definition. But we always need to be wary of confusing information collected anecdotally (or, if you will, casually) with information that is collected in a systematic way. It's not that people are more or less honest when talking to researchers, it's just that good research addresses things like individual bias and the bias of the person collecting the information. So you could ask twelve of your real life friends or all 300 of your Facebook friends, but don't confuse what they say with what most people think. Chances are, they aren't most people. What's Casual About Casual Sex? I would suggest that the casual in casual sex refers to the level of commitment that sex usually implies in traditional sexual and gender scripts.  So these traditional scripts tell us that having sex "means" something.  It might mean that we're getting serious, taking it to the next level.  It might mean that we only want one night of connection and we don't want more (and by having sex before we know each other we're saying we don't expect to know each other more).  It might mean a thousand other things. Casual sex, on the other hand, is sex without a particular meaning or possible sex that has no meaning at all outside of the actual sexual encounter. When sex is casual, I think the word is used to mean that the sex is detached from those traditional sexual and gender scripts. This is, I would suggest, precisely what is so threatening about casual sex. Casual sex isn't sex by the rules. Casual sex thumbs it's nose (or other body parts) at convention by being something that is supposed to meaningful but may mean nothing at all. This isn't to say that casual sex is inherently radical or even a good thing. Rather that casual sex is threatening on a social level because it calls into question many of our foundational beliefs about sex. That may also be what makes it so attractive for some. A Modestly Proposed Definition of Casual Sex My own working definition of casual sex is this: Casual sex that takes place without any commitment beyond the sexual encounter.  It might be with strangers, friends, or even old lovers. But the defining characteristic of casual sex, what makes it casual, is the separation of the sexual encounter from a sexual or intimate relationship. Casual sex might be considered a little Taoist; by not meaning any one thing, casual sex may mean any number of things. Frustratingly for some, it may be that the defining feature of casual sex is that it evades any concrete definition. Take Heather's Survey! | Twitter | Newsletter Signup | Sexuality Forum | What's Casual About Casual Sex? originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Friday, March 5th, 2010 at 00:01:48. Permalink | Comment | Email this Amorous Christmas Santa and the Sexy Girl: retro, nostalgic, sexist old men's magazine cover. Molecular Condoms University of Utah researchers develope microbicidal prophylactic to replace latex condoms. The Most Desirable Pornstars In The World [Listmania] There are many different ways to rank the popularity of pornstars: through fan-powered popularity polls, measurement of website traffic, number of Twitter followers, DVD sales...but RealTouch has come up with what may be the most fascinating one of all. For those who don't remember, RealTouch (or the robopussy, as we like to think of it) is a super high tech sex toy for men; one that works to simulate the feel of an actual, factual pussy (or ass, or mouth) while syncing with a POV porn that's been specially coded to interact with the RealTouch. In other words, it's the closest you'll get to having sex with a pornstar (short of finding one at The Bunny Ranch). So, with all that in mind: which are the girls that users are opting to bang? RealTouch has just released the most popular stars of February—and it's a very revealing look into the psyche of the average (male) porn watcher. Granted, the pool of possibilities is limited to girls featured in RealTouch's library...but we have a feeling the girls at the top of their list would still be pretty popular just about anywhere. And so, without further ado, the top ten are.... [List via XBIZ (xbiz.com)] 10) Faye Reagan Freckled, redheaded, and puffy-nippled, Faye's got a look like no one else in the industry—is it really that hard to believe that all the Faye-o-philes might band together and push her into the top ten? Of course not. We're a powerful lobbying group. [Image from "Janie Summers Girl Next Door" courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)] 9) Lexi Belle Sweet and innocent (looking) on the outside...depraved and dirty on the inside. We, for one, would be happy to "spend some time" with Lexi Belle—and it's clear we're not the only ones. [Image from "Janie Summers Private Lessons" courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)] 8) Jenna Jameson There's a reason why Jenna Jameson reigned the porn industry for so long: the woman is damn good at what she does (and, as evidenced by her position in this list, has some serious staying power). 7) Tori Black 2010's AVN Female Performer of the Year is a class act...and a dirty fuck. We wouldn't be surprised to see her edging her way up this list in the month's to come—we know she's one of our women to watch out for (and, for that matter, to just plain watch). [Image from "Jack's POV 15" courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)] 6) Alexis Texas Is Alexis Texas's ass the secret of her seductive powers? Or are her other assets where her true powers lie? The world may never know...but in the meantime, yes, we would like to pretend that we're banging the two time Buttwoman. [Image from "Jack's POV 14" courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)] 5) Lisa Ann Even when she's not playing Sarah Palin, Lisa Ann's a super sexy woman with a serious sex drive. Call her a MILF, call her a cougar, call her whatever you want—all we know is that she's utterly to die for. [Image from "Mrs. Demeanor" courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)] 4) Bree Olson Beautiful Bree is a girl next door with some serious star power. Our favorite combination! [Image courtesy of Twistys] 3) Ashlynn Brooke In addition to having some of the best fake boobs in the whole wide world, Ashlynn's also got some serious sex skills. Come on, people, what more do you want? [Image from "Addicted 5"] 2) Sasha Grey There's no one in the world quite like Sasha Grey...luckily, she's (virtually) available through RealTouch. (Really, with her body, her mouth, and...well, just her, is it any surprise she's made it here?) [Image courtesy of Zero Tolerance (ztod.com)] 1) Jenna Haze Long, lithe, and cock-crazy, Jenna Haze tops just about every popularity list we've seen. And this one is no different. [Image from "Cum Spoiled Brats"] Turning Condom Marketing Into Sex Research I usually don't bother to read press releases from for profit companies and organizations promoting "research" about their product business. Whether it's the large scale Durex sex survey telling us how many people wear sexy underwear or the more modest International Car Wash Association elucidating people's erotic attachment to cars, my response is the same; if I want to know something about people I'm not going to look for answers from the corporations selling us stuff. But a recently marketing push by Condomania raises interesting questions about whether or not these faux-research marketing efforts could inspire good research. Before I describe the campaign, but perhaps not before you've decided that I'm a total snob, let me explain what I think the difference between good and bad research is. Good research doesn't only come from the Academy (indeed, academics, it could be argued, are responsible for far more bad research than anyone else...but they also do so much more of it than anyone else). Good research can happen anytime anywhere, and can be done by people with a lot, a little, or no formal education. Good research, to my mind, just needs to be systematic, transparent, and clear in reporting results and limitations. A study of three people might yield far more insights than a survey of 3,000. Someone who never finished high school might be able to research and report in a much richer way the lived experience of others, or the social structures that influence the way we live. Back to Condomania. Several years ago the online condom store introduce TheyFit condoms, which are condoms available in 76 different sizes. Before you order the condoms you print out a measuring chart that helps you figure out the right size condom for you but offering a (relatively) standardized way of measuring penis length and girth. Since launching TheyFit, Condomania has sold them to over 27,000 men. Recently, and the timing of this seems weird since they have discontinued the condoms and the ones you purchase now expire in 2 months time, they released data, which they suggest tells us something about the average penis size of men in different cities in the U.S. They base their 20 Cities Ordered by Penis Size list on the size of the condoms purchased in each city. Of course there's nothing systematic or remotely scientific about what they've done. And it's pretty clear that customers had no idea they'd ever use this information for marketing purchases, which makes this a bit sketchy in my eyes (although no more or less sketchy than any other for profit company using data about customers without their permission). But Chris Filkins, Condomania's Directory of Technology makes an interesting argument about their penis size data as compared to penis size data from more formal research on penis size: "Unlike other studies in which participants were measuring their penis size solely for the sake of recording a measurement, and were perhaps more likely to exaggerate," says Filkins, "our database is comprised of men looking for the best fit condom for safety and comfort, and thus, we believe, apt to be more accurate." I'm not sure I'd give him this without thinking more about it, but it's certainly possible that the kind of data they have is qualitatively (if not quantitatively) different given the different circumstances under which it was collected. As someone who has worked in retail stores for years and who also works as a sex educator in clinical settings, it's my experience that people offer different, often richer information in a retail setting where they feel empowered by their role as consumer. Again, this isn't the same as saying the data is more accurate, but it does suggest that there could be an opportunity for collaboration between a for profit enterprise like Condomania and a public health research agenda. I'm painfully aware that most sex research is conducted in environments so overly controlled and artificial that what our scientists tell us they know about sexuality and specifically about sexual response may bare little resemblance to individuals lived experience of sex. Any of us who care to know more about the sexual experiences of others must keep looking for better ways to research and learn. And even though I can trust for profit companies as far as I can throw them, it may be that there is a role for them somewhere in bridging the divide between those who want to live and those who want to study life. Read more - Condomania: Which states & cities have the largest penises? Related - Average Penis Size ; What's Wrong with Research on Penis Size ; Think Your Penis Is Too Small? ; Who Cares About Penis Size? | Twitter | Newsletter Signup | Sexuality Forum | Turning Condom Marketing Into Sex Research originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Monday, February 22nd, 2010 at 00:01:11. Permalink | Comment | Email this Win a Free Hooters Gift Card! Chamber of Commerce scam uses sex to create illusion of public opposition to health reform. John Marcotte's Marriage Protection Act John Marcotte says California Marriage Protection Act will forbid the sin of divorce and save the holy nature of matrimony. 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