Make New Friends Shop for Toys Buy DVDs Watch Movies Now free full adult movie Recommended free full adult movie Site: Yield to Temptation: one stop adult shopping one stop adult shopping Sex Work and Disability Reconsidered Bethany Stevens, on her new Crip Confessions blog, has a post about sex work and disability that's well worth reading. On the few occasions when the topic of sex work and disability comes up, it's usually presented in simple ways. It's either a radical topic that makes you think and then affirm your groovy sex positiveness. Or it's a travesty, a double exploitation (after all, to the narrow minded and paternalistic on the left and the right, who are better pity targets than sex workers and disabled people? Imagine that telethon). In fairness, this topic isn't something people have written or talked much about publicly, so the discussion is new. Which makes Stevens' commentary all the more exciting, as it begins to untangle a complex mess of issues and experience. Her focus in the post isn't as much the public discussion as it is the existence of government policy that funds sex specifically for people with disabilities. It's a policy that irks her, and she writes: While many disabled people are economically ghettoized, the framing of policy like this reinforces the charitable model of disability by implicating that disabled people are sexually-deprived.  It supports the already pervasive claim that disabled people are not sexually worthy and thereby must seek out the services of a professional, because few, if any, would voluntarily have sex with us. Note that Stevens' problem is not narrowly focused on the policy itself, it's with the framing of the policy. Indeed she goes on to talk about how these policies, while problematic, serve both practical and philosophical functions, calling us all to look not just at the policies and practices that surround sex work and disability, but at the conditions within which such policies and practices develop. Over the course of my many years as a sex educator working in both rehabilitation and disability communities, and as an ally to disabled friends, family, and lovers, these issues, both in theory and practice, have come up often. I remember a man I corresponded with in Germany who had access to direct funding from the government in order to pay for services he needed related to his disability. But he was required to submit receipts and, essentially, justify any expenses which weren't standard on the government forms. He was able to use the money for things like massage, talk therapy, homeopathy, etc... He wanted to use his money for sex work as well, and he didn't see this as fundamentally different (he described all these things as human needs). Whatever I, or anyone else, thinks of the way he experiences sex work, the bottom line was that because of his disability he was required to justify what he would spend his money on, something that I as a non-disabled person would never have to do. Were I living in Germany I wouldn't have to do this with tax refunds, I wouldn't have to do this with unemployment insurance, I wouldn't have to do it period. From my perspective (which is, of course, heavily informed by being currently non-disabled) this is first and foremost an issue of access. In the case of the man from Germany this is probably fair because he was identifying it as an access issue. The problem, which Stevens so skillfully teases out, is that I (we?) can easily generalize and say this is always an issue of access, and sometimes come to believe that this is only an issue of access. Stevens points out that this is about much more than access. Embedded in the do-gooder sex-positive agenda that says people with disabilities should have free access to sex workers is a denial of other important ways that disabled people are systemically denied sexual rights. The lived experience of many people with visible disabilities is that it's much much harder to find sexual partners. Random hook ups, long term relationships, monogamous marriages, you name it. If you look disabled you get the message that these things aren't for you. I've been involved in a couple of different ways in making connections individually and organizationally between sex worker groups and disability activists. I do think that there are important access issues that need to be addressed. But Stevens post is a welcome reminder for me that when I only focus on access, I'm not only missing out, I'm shutting out, which is the opposite of how I want to live my life. Read more - Crip Confessions: Paying for Pleasure: Interrogating Sex Work for Crips Previously - Sex Work Debate and a Denmark Nursing Home ; Sex Work and Disability ; Adult Film Offers a Good Opportunity to Talk About Sex and Disability Related - Sexuality and Disability Resources on About.com Sex Work and Disability Reconsidered originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Friday, February 26th, 2010 at 00:01:20. Permalink | Comment | Email this Amorous Christmas Santa and the Sexy Girl: retro, nostalgic, sexist old men's magazine cover. The Most Desirable Pornstars In The World [Listmania] There are many different ways to rank the popularity of pornstars: through fan-powered popularity polls, measurement of website traffic, number of Twitter followers, DVD sales...but RealTouch has come up with what may be the most fascinating one of all. For those who don't remember, RealTouch (or the robopussy, as we like to think of it) is a super high tech sex toy for men; one that works to simulate the feel of an actual, factual pussy (or ass, or mouth) while syncing with a POV porn that's been specially coded to interact with the RealTouch. In other words, it's the closest you'll get to having sex with a pornstar (short of finding one at The Bunny Ranch). So, with all that in mind: which are the girls that users are opting to bang? RealTouch has just released the most popular stars of February—and it's a very revealing look into the psyche of the average (male) porn watcher. Granted, the pool of possibilities is limited to girls featured in RealTouch's library...but we have a feeling the girls at the top of their list would still be pretty popular just about anywhere. And so, without further ado, the top ten are.... [List via XBIZ (xbiz.com)] 10) Faye Reagan Freckled, redheaded, and puffy-nippled, Faye's got a look like no one else in the industry—is it really that hard to believe that all the Faye-o-philes might band together and push her into the top ten? Of course not. We're a powerful lobbying group. [Image from "Janie Summers Girl Next Door" courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)] 9) Lexi Belle Sweet and innocent (looking) on the outside...depraved and dirty on the inside. We, for one, would be happy to "spend some time" with Lexi Belle—and it's clear we're not the only ones. [Image from "Janie Summers Private Lessons" courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)] 8) Jenna Jameson There's a reason why Jenna Jameson reigned the porn industry for so long: the woman is damn good at what she does (and, as evidenced by her position in this list, has some serious staying power). 7) Tori Black 2010's AVN Female Performer of the Year is a class act...and a dirty fuck. We wouldn't be surprised to see her edging her way up this list in the month's to come—we know she's one of our women to watch out for (and, for that matter, to just plain watch). [Image from "Jack's POV 15" courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)] 6) Alexis Texas Is Alexis Texas's ass the secret of her seductive powers? Or are her other assets where her true powers lie? The world may never know...but in the meantime, yes, we would like to pretend that we're banging the two time Buttwoman. [Image from "Jack's POV 14" courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)] 5) Lisa Ann Even when she's not playing Sarah Palin, Lisa Ann's a super sexy woman with a serious sex drive. Call her a MILF, call her a cougar, call her whatever you want—all we know is that she's utterly to die for. [Image from "Mrs. Demeanor" courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)] 4) Bree Olson Beautiful Bree is a girl next door with some serious star power. Our favorite combination! [Image courtesy of Twistys] 3) Ashlynn Brooke In addition to having some of the best fake boobs in the whole wide world, Ashlynn's also got some serious sex skills. Come on, people, what more do you want? [Image from "Addicted 5"] 2) Sasha Grey There's no one in the world quite like Sasha Grey...luckily, she's (virtually) available through RealTouch. (Really, with her body, her mouth, and...well, just her, is it any surprise she's made it here?) [Image courtesy of Zero Tolerance (ztod.com)] 1) Jenna Haze Long, lithe, and cock-crazy, Jenna Haze tops just about every popularity list we've seen. And this one is no different. [Image from "Cum Spoiled Brats"] Christina Hendricks Amasses Scientifically Impossible Amount Of Cleavage [Celebrity] Our eyes may be deceiving us here, but it almost looks as though Christina Hendricks is sporting cleavage that's bigger than her head. Someone call the scientists: we've found the next stage in the evolution of (wo)man. (hollywoodtuna.com) Molecular Condoms University of Utah researchers develope microbicidal prophylactic to replace latex condoms. What's Casual About Casual Sex? My friend and colleague Heather Corinna (founder of Scarleteen and sex educator extraordinaire) is doing a large survey on multi-generational experiences with and attitudes about casual sex. Heather is simply one of the smartest sex people I know, and every conversation I have with her could go on for days. But since we're both busy I just went and participated in the survey, and it inspired to to think more than I ever had before about what exactly we're talking about when we talk about casual sex. Chance encounters, one-night stands, hook ups, anonymous sex, meaningless sex, friends with benefits, booty call, the zipless fuck. All of these are terms people have used to describe what researchers and an increasing number of media pop psychologists call casual sex. The terminology has changed over time, but one might argue that our fascination with casual sex has never wavered. But with so many terms, what exactly do we mean when we talk about casual sex? How Researcher's Define Casual Sex Like so many other sex definitions, there isn't a single agreed upon definition for casual sex. Which makes interpreting the wide range of research on the impact of casual sex somewhat daunting. Researchers have defined casual sex in different ways, depending in part on the purpose of their research and in part on their approach (e.g. psychology versus sociology versus nursing, etc...). Despite variations one consistent element to most definitions of casual sex is that it is sex with someone you don't consider to be a spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend or partner, and that it is sex without any significant relationship commitments attached. Some researchers attach a time period to casual sex; labeling casual sex, for example, as sex with someone you have known for two weeks or less. Again, there is no general agreement on what the term means, but here are some of the other ways that researchers have bracketed casual sex as separate and unique from other sexual encounters: casual sex implies a particular kind of relationship devoid of emotional connection casual sex implies a type of attraction, for example primarily physical rather than based on personality or shared values casual sex refers to the intention of one or both partners, usually the intention that this not turn into a relationship casual sex means only having sex once or twice, or only having certain kinds of sex casual sex happens when you've spent more time together having sex than not having sex Each of these points could be thought of as describing a continuum on which we all plant ourselves, determining where our line is between casual and non-casual sex. "Most People's" Definition of Casual Sex One way to define casual sex is just to start asking people. This can be a good way to collect information and get a sense of how others think about casual sex. In talking to them you may develop your own definition. But we always need to be wary of confusing information collected anecdotally (or, if you will, casually) with information that is collected in a systematic way. It's not that people are more or less honest when talking to researchers, it's just that good research addresses things like individual bias and the bias of the person collecting the information. So you could ask twelve of your real life friends or all 300 of your Facebook friends, but don't confuse what they say with what most people think. Chances are, they aren't most people. What's Casual About Casual Sex? I would suggest that the casual in casual sex refers to the level of commitment that sex usually implies in traditional sexual and gender scripts.  So these traditional scripts tell us that having sex "means" something.  It might mean that we're getting serious, taking it to the next level.  It might mean that we only want one night of connection and we don't want more (and by having sex before we know each other we're saying we don't expect to know each other more).  It might mean a thousand other things. Casual sex, on the other hand, is sex without a particular meaning or possible sex that has no meaning at all outside of the actual sexual encounter. When sex is casual, I think the word is used to mean that the sex is detached from those traditional sexual and gender scripts. This is, I would suggest, precisely what is so threatening about casual sex. Casual sex isn't sex by the rules. Casual sex thumbs it's nose (or other body parts) at convention by being something that is supposed to meaningful but may mean nothing at all. This isn't to say that casual sex is inherently radical or even a good thing. Rather that casual sex is threatening on a social level because it calls into question many of our foundational beliefs about sex. That may also be what makes it so attractive for some. A Modestly Proposed Definition of Casual Sex My own working definition of casual sex is this: Casual sex that takes place without any commitment beyond the sexual encounter.  It might be with strangers, friends, or even old lovers. But the defining characteristic of casual sex, what makes it casual, is the separation of the sexual encounter from a sexual or intimate relationship. Casual sex might be considered a little Taoist; by not meaning any one thing, casual sex may mean any number of things. Frustratingly for some, it may be that the defining feature of casual sex is that it evades any concrete definition. Take Heather's Survey! | Twitter | Newsletter Signup | Sexuality Forum | What's Casual About Casual Sex? originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Friday, March 5th, 2010 at 00:01:48. Permalink | Comment | Email this Shannon Kane Has "Brooklyn's Finest" Boobs [Movies] Who'd have thought that a gritty crime drama set in Brooklyn would have a steamy sex scene with a whole lot of boobage? Probably just about anyone who's ever seen a gritty crime drama, actually. (Bonus: no Dennis Franz ass.) [NB: Do not adjust your speakers. The clip does, in fact, seem to be silent.] · "Brooklyn's Finest" (imdb.com) · Shannon Kane in "Brooklyn's Finest" (upcomingnudescenes.net) Nun Milk Pretty young woman in a nun's habit squeezes milk from one of her naked breasts. Doing It Decent - Buying Sex Toys for Teens Once a month Doing It Decent considers the ethics of a sexual situation from our readers. Grappling with a touchy sexual ethics issue? Send an email to sexuality.guide@about.com. All questions will be posted anonymously with identifying information removed. This week's question: Buying Sex Toys for Teens I watched the episode of Oprah where she had a doctor on who recommended buying vibrators for your teenager. I have several vibrators myself and I had never thought about it before, but I have a teenage daughter and would have no problem getting her one. But I'm not sure what she'd think about it. Also, I'm divorced and I know my ex would completely disapprove. I could really use your advice. My parents never bought me a vibrator. But I remember when I saw my first vibrator. It was tucked between the headboard and mattress of my parents king size bed. It was one of those old school coil style massagers that didn't look sexual at all. Yet somehow, as soon as I flipped the switch I knew what it was for. I also remember the first time I discovered their stash of porn magazines, and when I first discovered that some of the books on their shelves were full of stories of people having sex (just looking at the spines they all looked the same - boring). My father was a sex therapist and my mother was a librarian, so I may not have had the most typical of sexual upbringings, but I often think about those moments of discovery and as an adult I easily identify them as part of my sexual development. It's hard to know how that process would have been different if my parents had taken me shopping for porn magazines, or handed me a vibrator for my 14th birthday. I think it's safe to say that these parental choices might have resulted in awkwardness, but probably wouldn't have damaged me too badly. I offer this alternative narrative not to suggest that you should or shouldn't buy your teenage daughter a vibrator, but simply to point out that the path of least resistance isn't always the way to go; and that sexual development happens in many ways. Before I respond to your two-pronged question, and because this is a column about sexual ethics, it behooves me to point out that the Oprah episode of which you speak, an episode I've only seen clips from but have been directed to dozens of times by readers, is itself an example of questionable ethics. Not on Oprah's part, but on the part of the guest, Jennifer Berman. Berman is a psychologist and an Oprah regular. She also shills for one of the big sex toy companies. Her branded products are of passable but not exceptional quality. From several, equally interesting vantage points, appearing on a television program as a sexual health professional and pushing your own sex toys isn't the most ethical of things to do. That's for another column. Back to your question. I'd have to say the first part, whether or not you should by your teenager a vibrator isn't, in and of itself, an ethical question. The fact that you're not sure how your daughter will react suggests to me that your first step should be to ask her. Actually your first step might be to broach the subject. Have you ever talked about sex toys before? You might want to check in to see if it's okay if you ask her about it and then start with more general questions (does she know about them? do her and her friends ever talk about them? does she know anyone who has ever tried a sex toy?) Unless you talk about sex all the time, approaching her with "how would you feel if I bought you a vibrator?" might be jarring. Remember that every conversation you have about sex is an opportunity for learning (for both of you!) and it's also a chance to model respectful boundaries about sex. Ethically speaking, the second part of your question is where it's at. What you're asking is whether or not it's ethical to do something that you know clearly conflicts with the values of someone you are co-parenting with? In this case you believe that to raise a sexually healthy daughter you should buy her a vibrator, so how much should you take into account the values of a co-parent? Before I dive in, I want to remind us both that asking whether this is ethical may be very different from asking whether it's smart or prudent or wise. There are many situations where our actions would be better guided by the latter questions than the former. What I want to ask in this situation is where do your ethical duties lie. And who are you responsible to, or responsible for? It's a perfect example of how complicated and tangled things get when we become families. One way to approach this question is to think about who in this situation you have an ethical obligation to, and what those obligations are. Let's make a list. Keep reading...who do you answer to when it comes to raising sexually healthy teens? Got a question of sexual ethics? Previously - Cyber Faking It ; Is Public Sex Ethical? ; If They Don't Ask, Do You Tell? ; Loud Sex in the House ; Herpes, When Do I Tell? | Twitter | Newsletter Signup | Sexuality Forum | Doing It Decent - Buying Sex Toys for Teens originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Wednesday, February 17th, 2010 at 00:01:24. Permalink | Comment | Email this Helen Gurley Brown and American Sexual Culture Sex and the Single Girl author's influence on heterosexual dating, mating habits, presentation of sexuality in mass culture. Other Sites: Download Free Adult Movie Series Index/Last UpdateArchived DVDs Page 1 Page 2Page 3Coming Soon ... 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