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Tous Les Schlocky Pornos De Le Monde [DVD] I am, as you know, sentimental. So a title like "The Summer of My 19th Year" makes me think of tender accounts of awkward first blowjobs, Sunny DeLite, anal tearing, and returning to community college a new person. Oh well. L'ete de Mes 19 Ans Studio: Marc Dorcel Review by: Gram Ponante I know it's porn, but I just expected something more innocent, as if Bryan Adams should have traded his wholesome "Summer of 69" for this title, and both would have emerged somehow more appropriate. Two young women, one of whom is the narrator, arrive in Ibiza and immediately hitchhike into the Kia Sportage of Miguel. There's no soft looks or mooning, my friends; the fucking begins almost immediately. They all hit the clubs and repair to a house where a sex party has been going on, it seems, for decades. Miguel gets pouty when he discovers the girls making out, but all is forgiven when they have a threesome. The end! As you will see from the gallery, everyone in this movie is fantastically attractive, but the one thing that would have saved this French-language film for me was a laugh track. Despite a weekend of fucking, Miguel puts hs foot down on dainty carpet munching. · Marc Dorcel (marcdorcel.com) Nun Milk Shannon Kane Has "Brooklyn's Finest" Boobs [Movies] Who'd have thought that a gritty crime drama set in Brooklyn would have a steamy sex scene with a whole lot of boobage? Probably just about anyone who's ever seen a gritty crime drama, actually. (Bonus: no Dennis Franz ass.) [NB: Do not adjust your speakers. The clip does, in fact, seem to be silent.] · "Brooklyn's Finest" (imdb.com) Doing It Decent - Buying Sex Toys for Teens Once a month Doing It Decent considers the ethics of a sexual situation from our readers. Grappling with a touchy sexual ethics issue? Send an email to sexuality.guide@about.com. All questions will be posted anonymously with identifying information removed. This week's question: Buying Sex Toys for Teens I watched the episode of Oprah where she had a doctor on who recommended buying vibrators for your teenager. I have several vibrators myself and I had never thought about it before, but I have a teenage daughter and would have no problem getting her one. But I'm not sure what she'd think about it. Also, I'm divorced and I know my ex would completely disapprove. I could really use your advice. My parents never bought me a vibrator. But I remember when I saw my first vibrator. It was tucked between the headboard and mattress of my parents king size bed. It was one of those old school coil style massagers that didn't look sexual at all. Yet somehow, as soon as I flipped the switch I knew what it was for. I also remember the first time I discovered their stash of porn magazines, and when I first discovered that some of the books on their shelves were full of stories of people having sex (just looking at the spines they all looked the same - boring). My father was a sex therapist and my mother was a librarian, so I may not have had the most typical of sexual upbringings, but I often think about those moments of discovery and as an adult I easily identify them as part of my sexual development. It's hard to know how that process would have been different if my parents had taken me shopping for porn magazines, or handed me a vibrator for my 14th birthday. I think it's safe to say that these parental choices might have resulted in awkwardness, but probably wouldn't have damaged me too badly. I offer this alternative narrative not to suggest that you should or shouldn't buy your teenage daughter a vibrator, but simply to point out that the path of least resistance isn't always the way to go; and that sexual development happens in many ways. Before I respond to your two-pronged question, and because this is a column about sexual ethics, it behooves me to point out that the Oprah episode of which you speak, an episode I've only seen clips from but have been directed to dozens of times by readers, is itself an example of questionable ethics. Not on Oprah's part, but on the part of the guest, Jennifer Berman. Berman is a psychologist and an Oprah regular. She also shills for one of the big sex toy companies. Her branded products are of passable but not exceptional quality. From several, equally interesting vantage points, appearing on a television program as a sexual health professional and pushing your own sex toys isn't the most ethical of things to do. That's for another column. Back to your question. I'd have to say the first part, whether or not you should by your teenager a vibrator isn't, in and of itself, an ethical question. The fact that you're not sure how your daughter will react suggests to me that your first step should be to ask her. Actually your first step might be to broach the subject. Have you ever talked about sex toys before? You might want to check in to see if it's okay if you ask her about it and then start with more general questions (does she know about them? do her and her friends ever talk about them? does she know anyone who has ever tried a sex toy?) Unless you talk about sex all the time, approaching her with "how would you feel if I bought you a vibrator?" might be jarring. Remember that every conversation you have about sex is an opportunity for learning (for both of you!) and it's also a chance to model respectful boundaries about sex. Ethically speaking, the second part of your question is where it's at. What you're asking is whether or not it's ethical to do something that you know clearly conflicts with the values of someone you are co-parenting with? In this case you believe that to raise a sexually healthy daughter you should buy her a vibrator, so how much should you take into account the values of a co-parent? Before I dive in, I want to remind us both that asking whether this is ethical may be very different from asking whether it's smart or prudent or wise. There are many situations where our actions would be better guided by the latter questions than the former. What I want to ask in this situation is where do your ethical duties lie. And who are you responsible to, or responsible for? It's a perfect example of how complicated and tangled things get when we become families. One way to approach this question is to think about who in this situation you have an ethical obligation to, and what those obligations are. Let's make a list. Keep reading...who do you answer to when it comes to raising sexually healthy teens? Got a question of sexual ethics? Previously - Cyber Faking It ; Is Public Sex Ethical? ; If They Don't Ask, Do You Tell? ; Loud Sex in the House ; Herpes, When Do I Tell?
Doing It Decent - Buying Sex Toys for Teens originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Wednesday, February 17th, 2010 at 00:01:24. Permalink | Comment | Email this Sex Work and Disability Reconsidered Bethany Stevens, on her new Crip Confessions blog, has a post about sex work and disability that's well worth reading. On the few occasions when the topic of sex work and disability comes up, it's usually presented in simple ways. It's either a radical topic that makes you think and then affirm your groovy sex positiveness. Or it's a travesty, a double exploitation (after all, to the narrow minded and paternalistic on the left and the right, who are better pity targets than sex workers and disabled people? Imagine that telethon). In fairness, this topic isn't something people have written or talked much about publicly, so the discussion is new. Which makes Stevens' commentary all the more exciting, as it begins to untangle a complex mess of issues and experience. Her focus in the post isn't as much the public discussion as it is the existence of government policy that funds sex specifically for people with disabilities. It's a policy that irks her, and she writes: While many disabled people are economically ghettoized, the framing of policy like this reinforces the charitable model of disability by implicating that disabled people are sexually-deprived. It supports the already pervasive claim that disabled people are not sexually worthy and thereby must seek out the services of a professional, because few, if any, would voluntarily have sex with us. Note that Stevens' problem is not narrowly focused on the policy itself, it's with the framing of the policy. Indeed she goes on to talk about how these policies, while problematic, serve both practical and philosophical functions, calling us all to look not just at the policies and practices that surround sex work and disability, but at the conditions within which such policies and practices develop. Over the course of my many years as a sex educator working in both rehabilitation and disability communities, and as an ally to disabled friends, family, and lovers, these issues, both in theory and practice, have come up often. I remember a man I corresponded with in Germany who had access to direct funding from the government in order to pay for services he needed related to his disability. But he was required to submit receipts and, essentially, justify any expenses which weren't standard on the government forms. He was able to use the money for things like massage, talk therapy, homeopathy, etc... He wanted to use his money for sex work as well, and he didn't see this as fundamentally different (he described all these things as human needs). Whatever I, or anyone else, thinks of the way he experiences sex work, the bottom line was that because of his disability he was required to justify what he would spend his money on, something that I as a non-disabled person would never have to do. Were I living in Germany I wouldn't have to do this with tax refunds, I wouldn't have to do this with unemployment insurance, I wouldn't have to do it period. From my perspective (which is, of course, heavily informed by being currently non-disabled) this is first and foremost an issue of access. In the case of the man from Germany this is probably fair because he was identifying it as an access issue. The problem, which Stevens so skillfully teases out, is that I (we?) can easily generalize and say this is always an issue of access, and sometimes come to believe that this is only an issue of access. Stevens points out that this is about much more than access. Embedded in the do-gooder sex-positive agenda that says people with disabilities should have free access to sex workers is a denial of other important ways that disabled people are systemically denied sexual rights. The lived experience of many people with visible disabilities is that it's much much harder to find sexual partners. Random hook ups, long term relationships, monogamous marriages, you name it. If you look disabled you get the message that these things aren't for you. I've been involved in a couple of different ways in making connections individually and organizationally between sex worker groups and disability activists. I do think that there are important access issues that need to be addressed. But Stevens post is a welcome reminder for me that when I only focus on access, I'm not only missing out, I'm shutting out, which is the opposite of how I want to live my life. Read more - Crip Confessions: Paying for Pleasure: Interrogating Sex Work for Crips Previously - Sex Work Debate and a Denmark Nursing Home ; Sex Work and Disability ; Adult Film Offers a Good Opportunity to Talk About Sex and Disability Related - Sexuality and Disability Resources on About.com Sex Work and Disability Reconsidered originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Friday, February 26th, 2010 at 00:01:20. Permalink | Comment | Email this No, It's Not A Rozlyn Papa Sex Tape [Sextapes]
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